damn

ya think i woulda learned. nope. shrooms. damn. i almost went off the deep end. but ally was there to be my savior. she took me home, and before i knew it jonnie, matthew, mitch, christian, and emily were all piled on my bed and exploding the dark little home i had made for myself. i hate my apartment. dirty dirty dirty. must organize. must clean. the kitchen is disgusting. my mother is visiting in july and it must b clean by then. the bathroom is ridiculous. the bathroom is where i sat with matthew for a while. the moonlight was perfect. the temperature was too. i'm not happy with my lifestyle. drugs have to go. the best thing about hallucinogens is that i'm albe to step away and objectively look @ my life. i feel like i'm spinning my wheels. must focus. i have so much potential. i didn't go to super-hipster bootie fest 2006... and i'm so glad. i wore a reflective safety vest and momentarily understood why emma niblett feels so safe in her vest. protection. now working till 7pm and so exhausted. i love my roomie jonnie. she's a really good person. i must stay away from hipster parties from now on... i'm finished with trying to fit in... it's just because i'm so insecure... i want people to accept me, but they won't. they will just wonder who i really am... and i need to just work on my art and let them wonder.